The Door

Well, more of a virtual door. You’d be hard-pressed to find a real door on the internet. But anyways.

The Scarlet Letter began by introducing a door to symbolize the beginning of the story. And this is the beginning of my blog. So imagine yourself opening a broad mahogany door into the rich and magical world of my thoughts. Not a depressing gray one adorned with spikes, like the door from the novel. Inside this door is the meaning of the letter I. The way I visualize it, I is the root for most of my problems. I’m not even sure I believe in sin (besides murder, etc), so this letter represents what I see as my greatest personality/character weakness.

Though I sincerely doubt that someone will read this who is not in my English class or is a parent/friend, I will describe this project just in case. My English class is reading The Scarlet Letter, and our teacher has created a social project to go along with it. Each person in our class has to determine our greatest sin or weakness, and create a letter that represents it. We have to wear it to school everyday and record our reactions in our own blogs. I have chosen the letter I. I simply drew a blue bubble letter on a white square of paper. Instant masterpiece, I know.

Today was our first day. The goal of this project was to make us more aware about this weakness and see people’s reactions. I think we were supposed to be ashamed, in a way. If I were Hester, I would be deeply ashamed if everyone knew upon looking at me that I was an adulterer. But I am simply enjoying it so far. I like seeing people confused as to what my letter might represent, and seeing how well they know me if their guesses are close. Maybe this means I didn’t choose the right weakness.

If I’ve learned anything so far, it would probably be that my mahogany door wouldn’t actually be made of wood. It is more transparent than I had thought. During lunch, my friend already guessed what my I represents. Our conversation went a little something like this:

“So, what does it mean?”

“Pff, I’m not telling you. If you want to know, guess.”

Right here she thought a little bit and then returned with “insubordinate.”

“Insubordinate? That’s a weakness?”

She looked at me.

I continued, “I think it’s healthy to question authority sometimes.”

She nodded, giving me that. “Yeah, you do have a point.”

I leaned back against the seat, crossed my arms, and looked at her in a way that I think was challenging. “How well do you know me?”

She considered me for a moment here, and then guessed correctly.

I was a little amazed that it was so easy for her. I didn’t think she knew me that well. Or perhaps I am just that easy to figure out. I’ve learned from others that I am apparently very easy to read; my emotions are written all over my face. This doesn’t make me thrilled, but there isn’t a whole lot I can do. Who can go against their natural instinct to display emotions?

I am not anticipating that anyone else will guess what my letter means. And I am not planning on telling anyone. I am simply wondering whether I will get anything out of this project after the initial “this is new.” So, welcome to my blog. Maybe we can discover together what this door really looks like.

7 thoughts on “The Door

  1. I feel like I know you well enough to know what the I meant. It’s one of the only secrets about you, and by asking “How well do you know me” implied that it was, in fact, a deeply hidden THING about you.
    In others news, I DID find a door on the internet, but was too big to fit inside. So I drank this thing on my table that was all, “Drink me”, but then I left the key, and a box was all “eat me” and then I got TOO big, and the drink was all, “Drink me again! Again!” And I was all “Psh. SO not worth it.” I have pretty much shrunk by to my normal size on my own. With the exception, of course, of my ego.

  2. Ah! A fellow “I” wearer!
    Was there a thought process involved in choosing the color of your letter, or was it just a matter of whim?
    I am very surprised that one of your friends was able to pinpoint the hidden meaning behind your letter. I believe that this must mean one of two things: Either you are a very open and sharing friend, or your friend is adept at reading others through facial expressions. (As you stated, “Who can go against their natural instinct to display emotions?”)
    I am very interested to see how this premature event will affect your experience in a positive way. I say this for I fear that this intimate knowledge may spread and cause problems to you.

    P.S. If you know any other blog addresses, I would very much appreciate it if you would add it in a comment on my blog, Feel free to make other comments as well!

    Thank you and Good Luck!
    ~Dan Todd

  3. I like your opening to this. It is beautifulimagery and it sounds like Narnia. πŸ™‚
    I’m amazed someone was able to guess yours so easily. No one has guessed mine and the two people I told were surprised, even though they both know me very well.

  4. Don’t worry you are not easy to read ! After spending much time pondering what your letter stands for I have no idea. When I see you, I see a smart and very outspoken person, but at the same time you are shy in your own manor. You remind me a lot of myself, but without the crazy factor I tend to acquire sometimes when stressed as you may know. After knowing you for a while I still can’t guess it makes me crazy! hahah

  5. I don’t know why I chose the blue. It just called to me.
    And that’s flattering, Romana! πŸ™‚ Though, I assure you, I can be extremely crazy as well.

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